halloween jokes 2008 and some “Scary” ones!

Posted by Yuka as World

Most popular halloween jokes 2008:

qes: What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music? A. Wrap!!!!!

qes: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

qes: What’s a monster’s favorite bean? A. A human bean.

qes: Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

qes: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.

qes: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

qes: What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck.

qes: What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A.Ghoul

qes: Why did the ghost go into the bar? A. For the Boos.

qes: Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark.

qes: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn’t have a haunting license.

qes: Why didn’t the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.

qes: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A. At the casketeria.

qes: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A. He is mist.

qes: Where did the goblin throw the football? A. Over the ghoul line.

qes: Why doesn’t Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat. A. Because of the coffin.

qes: Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A. Because he is always a goblin.

qes: What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A. A toasty ghosty.

qes: Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? qes: He heard it had great circulation.

qes: What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae? A. Whipped scream.

qes: What do you give a skeleton for valentine’s day? A. Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

qes: What are ghosts’ favorite kind of streets? A. Dead ends

qes: What is a vampires favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving

qes: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A. Mas-scare-a.

qes: Why did the skeleton cross the road? A. To go to the body shop.

qes: What happens when two vampires meet? A. It was love at first bite!

qes: Who was the most famous ghost detective? A. Sherlock Moans.

qes: What do you call two spiders that just got married? A. Newlywebbed

qes: What is a ghosts favorite place on the web? A. www.halloween.com!

qes: Who was the most famous witch detective? A. Warlock Holmes

qes: What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop? A. Scream or sugar!

qes: Who was the most famous skeleton detective? A. Sherlock Bones.

qes: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A. Napoleon bone-apart

qes: Which building does Dracula visit in New York? A. The Vampire State Building.

qes: Where do most werewolves live? A. In howllywood, California

qes: Where do most goblins live? A. in North and South Scarolina.

qes: Where does a ghost refuel his porche? A. At a ghastly station.

qes: What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? A. Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)

qes: Why did the skeleton go disco dancing? A. to see the boogy man.

qes: What do witches use in their hair? A. scare-spray

qes: What do you call a little monsters parents A. mummy and deady

qes: What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon. A. sour-puss

qes: How do you scare a mummy A. with a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy.

qes: What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet? A. blood-thirsty hacker baby

qes: What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a skwaush? A. a squashed pumpkin pie.

qes: Why do ghosts shiver and moan? A. It’s drafty under that sheet.

qes: What instrument do skeleton play? A: Trom-BONE.

qes: What do ghosts eat for breakfast? A. Boo-Berries.

qes: What is a vampires favorite place on the web? A. www.halloween.com!

Q: Why did’t the skeleton cross the road? A: He had no guts.

qes: Why do vampires scare people? A. They are bored to death!

qes: How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat.

qes: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire? A. It’s a pain in the neck.

qes: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery? A. All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

qes: What songs does Dracula hate? A. “You Are My Sunshine” and “Sunshine on my Shoulders.

qes: What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done? A. Ok, that’s a wrap.

qes: How does a girl vampire flirt? A. She bats her eyes.

qes: What is a vampires least favorite food? A.Steak

qes: What’s it called when a vampire has trouble with his house? A. A grave problem.

qes: Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula? A. He has a bat temper.

qes: Why did Dracula go to the dentist? A. He had a fang-ache.

qes: Why are vampires like false teeth? A. They all come out at night.

qes: Who does Dracula get letters from? A. His fang club.

qes: What kind of key does a skeleton use? A. A skeleton key.

qes: What kind of gum do ghosts chew? A. Boo Boo Gum.

qes: Why did Dracula take cold medicine? A. To stop his coffin.

qes: Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes? A. Sandals don’t look good with his tuxedo.

qes: How do you keep a monster from biting his nails? A. Give him screws.

qes: What can’t you give the headless horseman? A. A headache.

qes: Why did the headless horseman go into business? A. He wanted to get ahead in life.

qes: What is a ghosts favorite sale? A. A white sale.

qes: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party? A. A boo-tie.

qes: What’s a ghosts favorite desert? A. Boo-berry pie.

qes: What type of dog does every vampire have? A. Bloodhound!

qes: What’s a monsters favorite desert? A. I-Scream!!

qes: When does a ghost have breakfast? A. In the moaning.

qes: What do ghosts drink at breakfast? A. Coffee with scream and sugar.

qes: Where does a ghost go on vacation? A. Mali-boo.

qes: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

qes: Where did the ghost get it’s hair done? A: At the boo-ty shop.

qes: Riddle: the maker does not want, it the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it? A. a coffin.

qes: What do they teach in witching school? A. Spelling.

qes: Why does a witch ride a broom? A. Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

qes: What do you call a witch’s garage? A. A broom closet.

qes: What do you call two witches living together? A. Broommates.

qes: Why don’t mummies take vacations? A. They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.

qes: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? A. Spelling

qes: Why can’t Boy Ghosts make babies?? A: Because they have Hollow-Weenies!

qes: Why did the man with a knife in his head cross the street? A. He was dying to get to the other side!!

qes: Where do ghosts go out? A. Where they can get boooooo-ze.

qes: Where do ghosts go out? A. Where they can get sheet-faced.

qes: What did the mother ghost say to her kids in the car? A. Fasten your sheet belts.

qes: Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? A. He didn’t have the guts.

qes: What did the corpse’ mom do when her son was bad? A. Ground him

qes: Why was the mummy so tense? A. Because he was all wound up.

qes: Why did the vampire need mouthwash? A. Because he had bat breath.

qes: Why don’t ghost have bands? A. They get booooooooooed.

qes: What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes? A. A cereal killer.

qes: Who are some of the werewolves cousins? A. The whatwolves, the whowolves and the when wolves.

qes: What did the bird say on Halloween? A. Trick or tweet!

qes: Why do skeletons drink milk? A. To help their bones!

qes: What’s a Vampire’s least favourate song? A. Another one bites the dust!

qes: What is a Skeleton’s favorite song. A. Bad to the Bone

qes: Whats a ghost’s favorate type of car? A. A boo-ick

qes: Where do ghost go for fun? A. To the boo-vies

qes: What’s a skeletons favorite part of the house? A. the living room

qes: What did the teenage witch ask her mother on Haloween? A. Can i have the keys to the broom tonight.

qes: What do u get when theres a witch in the desert? A. You get a sandwich.

W. Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? A.it raises their spirits.

qes: Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

qes: What is a vamire’s favorite fruit? A: A necktarine

qes: What do the skeletons say be for eating? A. Bone appetite

qes: What do gosts call there girl friends? A. There goul friends.

qes: How did the ghost say goodbye to the vampire? A. So long sucker!

qes: What did the goblin say to the witch? A. I don’t know you tell me!

qes: Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? A. Becuse he had no body to go with.

qes: What is a ghost’s favorite band? A. The Boos Brothers

qes: What did Dracula have for dessert? A. Whine & Ice scream

qes: What is Dracula’s favorite restaraunt? A. Murder King

qes: What is a Ghost’s favorite food? A. HamBoogers

qes: What is in a ghost’s nose? A. Boogers

qes: What was the mummies’ vacation like? A. Nobody knows. They were too wrapped up to tell us.

Q: What did tha boy ghost say to the girl ghost? A: You are the most booooooooo-tiful thing I have ever seen!

qes: Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it? A. Because people are dying to get in.

qes: What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking? A. A pumpkin patch!!!

qes: Where do vampires keep their money? A: The blood bank!!!

qes: Who are some of the were-wolves cousins? A. The what-wolves and when-wolves.

qes: What did Dracula say after reading all these jokes? A. They suck! (or they bite!)

And some more Halloween “Scary” Jokes:

Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school?
He was buttering up his teacher.

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He’s all right now.

Have you seen Quasimodo?
I have a hunch he’s back!

How can you tell that a vampire likes baseball?
He turns into a bat every night.

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

How do you fix a jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch.

How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats her eyes.

What did mama cannibal said to baby cannibal when he told her that he really liked his grandfather?
“Would you like another piece?”

What did the cannibal do when he saw an “All you can eat” restaurant?
He had two waiters and a busboy.

What did the french fries dress up as for Halloween?
Masked potatoes.

What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
Tombstones.

What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost?
“Don’t spook until you’re spooken to.”

What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
I’d like a beer and a mop!

What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley?
I’m bone to be wild.

What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
Boo-ties

What do ghosts and goblins drink on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid.

What do ghosts put on top of an ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream.

What do ghosts serve for dessert?
I Scream.

What do little ghosts drink?
Evaporated milk.

What do sea monsters eat for lunch?
Fish and ships.

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.

What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet?
A holy terror.

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin Goblin.

What do you call a little monster’s parents?
Mummy and deady.

What do you call a monster with no neck?
The Lost Neck Monster.

What do you call a roomful of ghosts?
A bunch of boo-boos.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand witch.

What do you call dead cows that come back to life?
Zombeef.

What do you do with a green monster?
Wait until it ripens.

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon.
A sour-puss.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its radius?
Pumpkin pi.

What do you give a skeleton for Valentine’s Day?
Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.

What game do ghost like to play?
Peek-a-Boo.

What goes “Ha-ha-ha . . . THUD!”
A monster laughing his head off

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
He is mist.

What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?
The actors get stage fright.

What instrument do skeletons play?
Trom-BONE.

What is a cannibal’s favorite type of TV show?
A celebrity roast.

What is a ghost’s favorite desert?
Iced Screams.

What is a ghost’s favorite oatmeal?
SCREAM of Wheat.

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving.

What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.

What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
His other fang.

What is Beethoven doing in his coffin right now?
Decomposing.

What is Dracula’s favorite kind of dog?
A blood hound.

What is the tallest building in Transylvania?
The Vampire State Building.

What kind of key opens a casket?
A skeleton key