Written in 2008

Posted by Yuka as Hot Cities

Having finished my intensive reading and Japanese examinations-the two which are generally considered to be the most awful and difficult-handling subjects in English department,I was finally able to take a deep breath.Standing on the dormitory balcony feeling the breeze over my cheeks,a little bit chilly as it was,I was indeed feeling released and carefree.Looking back over the past few days,I was occupied with both the preparation for the final examination and Hong Kong MUN(Model United Nations).Tired,helpless and even frustrated I was from time to time,yet I had never had the least intention of giving up which will not occur to me at all.Bearing my motto,which goes” The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.”,in mind,I invariably have faith in myself while at the same time tremendous courage and utter tenacity are needed to face the difficulties and tackles.I have to admit that I do fail to obtain my goal occcassionally,however,failure itself is not threatening and terrifying at all,it is to fail yourself to face up the failure that is fatal and lethal.Fortuanately,I have lived through the hardest time at present with enough bravery in face of all the above-mentioned sufferings if I can put it this way.

I am actually not for the traditionally accepted concept that that we do this is,in fact,for the purpose of living up to the expectation of our parents and relatives,whatever.Well,as for me,to pursue my own dream is of overwheming significance,which turns out to be the real satisfaction and  comfort to my parents if I succeed at last.But the very problem is what if it turns out the other way around,am I supposed to escape the consequenses and seek protection from my perpetual and eternal harber–my warm home,bodily and spiritually.No,easy said than done.It is our Chinese inherited virtue that adult children take the responsibility of taking care of their aged parents generation by generation.Undoubtedly,I do take it as a traditional virtue worth being proud of and being preached.What I’m concerned about is this also restricted our action and career with responsibility on the shoulder,otherwise critism might be hurled at one who is titled as unfilial or irresponsible.In this sense,I very much favor the great American Dream.Anyway,we are Chinese,we do what Chinese do,therefore we should get rid of those wild unrealistic dreams,say daydream, which is quite different from the great virtue of ambition,and be responsible for our family,most importantly ourselves.Taking blind risks is simply a violent gamble towards life and anybody else involved.The ultimate solution is to strike a balance between the two which is seemingly easy while unexpectedly difficult and complicated when it comes to reality.My utterance seems to have shifted from what I would like to have conveyed,however,I feel satisfied to put what is really on my not-so-rational mind.

Another thing I want to mention is MUN.It is my first time to take part in such a conference and also the first time for me to leave for so far a place–Hong Kong.The process of the preparation is not so smooth as I expected it to be,to be frank,it’s full of unpleasant trivial things seldom known by others.Though most of them are successfully tackled,these keep me reflecting on and pondering over something that I have hardly paid much attention.I have sensed the power of kinship from which I have been constantly receiving help and encouragement;I have harvested the fantastic feeings derived from friendship from which I have been continously learning the art of cooperation and collaboration.Either is precious,neither is to be neglected,both are to be cherished eternally.Of course I have also drawn some lessons from some of my immature behaviours.More are expected as the due time approaches.Well,only two examinations are left which are comparatively easy ones–extensive reading and listening comprehension.Wish me good luck!